Thomas J Parlette
“Jesus’ Keys to Resolving Conflict”
Matthew 18: 15-20
9/6/20
From the very beginning of Creation, there has been conflict. It’s right there at the start when Cain killed his brother Abel. Conflict has always been with us. One of the great challenges of being human is getting along with others.
The famous dramatist George Bernard Shaw and the legendary British leader Sir Winston Churchill had several disagreements. You might remember the story where Shaw once sent two tickets to Churchill for opening night of one of his plays, with instructions for Churchill to “bring a friend – if you have one.”
Churchill sent the tickets back with a note that said, “I will come on the second night – if there is one.”(1)
It’s not just interpersonal relationships that can be difficult. For instance, in 1325, a group of rowdies from Modena, Italy invaded the town of Bologna, also in Italy. This group of miscreants from Modena caused considerable mischief and upheaval in Bologna – they even stole the oak bucket from the public well.
This incident incited a 12- year war between the citizens of Modena and Bologna. Thousands of men died in the fighting. When the war ended after more than a decade, Modena re-claimed their oak bucket – and it’s been housed in the bell tower of a local cathedral ever since.(2)
Many of you are familiar with a statue called “Christ of the Andes,” which stands high in the mountains between Argentina and Chile. It’s supposed to symbolize peace between the two countries, but it ended up causing some conflict. Shortly after it was put up, the Chileans began to protest that they had been slighted by the placement of the statue. The issue? The statue has it’s back turned to Chile.
Fortunately, just when tempers were at their highest in Chile, a Chilean newspaper man saved the day. In an editorial that not only satisfied the people but made them laugh, he wrote, “The people of Argentina need more watching over than the people of Chile.”(3) Conflict resolved!
In this morning’s Gospel lesson from Matthew, Jesus gives some guidance on how to deal with conflict, especially with conflict in the church. Jesus gives us his three keys to resolving conflict.
Jesus’ model of conflict resolution is a carefully staged process. If another member of the church has wronged you, he says, take out Key One – Go to the other person and point out what this one has done wrong. No witnesses. Just the two of you.
If that doesn’t work, try another key, Key Two. Take one or two others along with you, and repeat the process. There’s a very practical reason for bringing the others along. They can serve as witnesses if Key Two likewise doesn’t work.
You’re going to need those witnesses if you pull out Key Three. Using this key, you “tell it to the church.” There’s still hope the other person will come around, realizing what pain he or she has caused, and repenting for it. But “if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”
A careful, measured series of escalating steps was the grievance procedure for the first-century church. It also became the foundation of the disciplinary procedures of a great many modern Christian Churches.
The theological foundation of this process is the power of the keys. The Roman Catholic Church assigns this power to priests and other church leaders under the authority of the Pope. Every parish priest exercises this power by pronouncing absolution – declaring to people that their sins are forgiven. For those in the heritage of the Protestant reformers, the power of the keys flows directly from the word of God in Scripture, as people understand it through the act of preaching.
To the question “What is the power of the keys?”, the Heidelberg Catechism supplies this answer: “The preaching of the holy gospel and Christian discipline toward repentance. Both of them open the kingdom of heaven to believers and close it to unbelievers.”
The goal of the process is reconciliation, not punishment. But there are times when that is impossible. Sometimes there’s no admission of wrong, no move toward reconciliation, not even when the whole church is calling for it. In such a case, then Jesus’ advice is to “let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”
Now incase that last bit sounds a little harsh coming from the mouth of Jesus, consider this for a moment. How is it that Jesus treats Gentiles and tax collectors” Did he ignore them? Did he abandon them? Did he avoid them?
No – he went out of his way to eat with them, to spend time with them. He was famous for that – actually infamous in some people’s eyes. Jesus never gave up on them. He always reached out to them. He always hoped for reconciliation. True, they were outside the group of disciples, but Jesus reached out to them anyway.
As the biblical scholar Warren Carter has pointed out, Jesus did not see the Gentile and tax collector as outcasts, he saw them as “objects of restorative action.”
It’s a shame really that this passage has been used to justify throwing people out of the church, when Jesus is not talking about that at all. Jesus’ keys to conflict resolution are all about reconciliation, not excommunication. The Three Keys are about restoring relationship and understanding each other.
The poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow once wrote, “If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we would find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.”(4)
Or, in more practical terms, we could follow the advice from an old U.S. Army training manual for non-commissioned officers. Sergeants were given advice on how to handle two soldiers from the same barracks who keep fighting and arguing with each other. Assign them both to washing the same window, the manual advises: one on the outside, the other on the inside. As they stand there with their cleaning solution and rags, moving them in the same circular motion, they can’t help but look each other in the eye. As they do, they realize they have more in common that they have differences. They may even start laughing, as the common problem – the dirty window- takes precedence over their petty conflict.(5)
Jesus’ Three keys to resolving conflict seek to bring us closer to each other, and ultimately closer to God, the only one who can bring about full reconciliation.
Hunter Farrell tells a story on PrebyterianMission.org about the night he walked with Pastor David into the New Jerusalem Presbyterian Church, in the indigenous community of Santa Barbara in one of the poorest of Peru’s 25 regions.
He says, “As we walked into the sanctuary on that bitterly cold night, Pastor David looked at me and whispered, ‘Pray with me brother, because I’m going to do something different’.
The Pastor David did something I had never seen anyone in Peru do before – after inviting the 50 or so people who had gathered for worship to stand in a circle, he took his Bible and placed it on the ground. Now, among the indigenous folks of Peru, allowing the Word of God to touch the ground was a sign of disrespect, so Pastor David quickly got the attention of the members of New Jerusalem – you could hear a pin drop!”
Then Pastor David spoke: “Brothers and Sisters, what is the one thing we must do each day to be a disciple of Jesus Christ?”
There was an uncomfortable silence. Finally, a teenager answered, “We must follow Jesus every day.”
“Yes, said Pastor David, “so everyone – take a step toward the Living Word,” and we all took a step toward the Bible.
“What happened?,” he asked.
Again, silence. He asked us to take another step toward the center of the circle. Now we were standing uncomfortably shoulder to shoulder. Again he asked – “What happened?”
Finally, a young girl responded, “Pastor, we came closer together.”(6)
Jesus’ Three Keys to conflict resolution give us a strategy to work towards reconciliation among the members of the Body of Christ – but only God can bring about full and complete reconciliation.
That is what we seek when we gather at the communion table. We gather around the Living Word and we take one step closer to the reconciliation that God offers.
May God be praised. Amen.
1. Dynamic Preaching, Vol. XXXVI, No. 3, p. 50.
2. Ibid…p. 50.
3. Ibid…p. 50-51
4. Homileticsonline, retrieved 8/20/20
5. Ibid…
6. Ibid…
