Rev. Jay Rowland
Romans 14:1-12 and mostly Matthew 18:21-35
Romans 14:1-12 key verses; my own transliteration
1 Welcome those you consider “weak” in faith, but not for the purpose of quarreling over opinions. ... 4 Who are you to pass judgment ...? It is before their own lord that they stand or fall. And they will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make them stand.
7-9 We do not live to ourselves, and we do not die to ourselves. If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord's. For to this end Christ died and lived again, so that he might be Lord of both the dead and the living.
10 Why do you pass judgment on your brother or sister? Or you, why do you despise your brother or sister? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. …
12 So then, each of us will be accountable to God.
Matthew 18:21-35
21 Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.
23 “For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves.
24 “‘When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him;25 and, as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, and payment to be made.
26 So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt.
28 But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat, he said, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. 31 When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place.
32 Then his lord summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt.”
35 So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
The Challenge of Forgiveness
In case you haven’t heard, this is an election year [sorry: my lame attempt at sarcastic humor]. Weeks ago, the political ad machinery started the requisite full-court press. Most of these ads exert considerable effort to convince us to vote for [insert candidate or party here] because [insert candidate or party here] has ALWAYS been all about upholding the VALUES we all care about. Kathryn Matthews rightly notes that our super-charged political culture has always been enamored with so-called “values issues” which present hard-line, party polemics exclusively applied to wedge issues such as sexual orientation or, say, reproductive rights rather than, say, racial and economic justice. Most candidates who espouse so-called “values” proclamations in public discourse often claim some justification from Christianity or religiosity for whatever stand is taken. 1
Whenever any so-called “Christian” or “Evangelical” politician refers to “values” in public discourse they inevitably create and perpetuate a false impression, a caricature, of Christianity and faith. Candidates love to grandstand their political positions and do so with either near-divine certainty, or claiming divine endorsement (or both), yet flippantly, even casually reject and demonize entire classes of people using their own narrow interpretation of religious standards, the Bible, and even Jesus Himself.
And of course, too often this spills over into faith communities. And so too many people feel unwelcome or rejected by God or a church based on what they’ve heard from politicians rather than what faith communities actually stand for. What makes this even worse is when churches spend any time making similar judgments about who's worthy of full inclusion in the life of the church. Because what that means is that little or no time or focus is devoted to considering the challenges Jesus presents to all of us through such basic notions as, say, forgiveness. To put it into proper perspective, Kathryn Matthews asks, have you ever heard of a church or denomination refusing to ordain someone for failing to forgive? 1
So why, then, do we allow ourselves to get distracted by someone’s sexual orientation? However we may feel about something or someone on any given day, I think we all know what it feels like to long for forgiveness. Or if not that, then perhaps how hard it is to forgive someone who has hurt us. What breaks my heart is that so many people come to worship every Sunday bearing heavy burdens, anger and resentment, guilt, shame and they long for something to help ease or share this burden rather than stir up feelings about issues or people which divert our attention which are far less important at the end of the day (every day!).
This very human struggle and difficulty regarding forgiveness persists in every period of history, in every nation, in any and every setting of the church, and in most every human heart.
The good news if we choose to be honest, is that each and every one of us has at one time behaved like the first servant/slave in Jesus’ parable—the one who received grace beyond measure. As Tom Long describes that situation, it's "something like saying that a lowly mail-room clerk owed the CEO of IBM a 'bazillion dollars.' It was hard to know who was more foolish--the servant-slave, for getting into that size debt, or the king, for extending that sort of credit line to a servant-slave" (Matthew, Westminster Bible Companion via Matthews1).
The hypocrisy on display when the tables are turned and he has the opportunity to forgive seems absurd if it did not describe us so well (Matthews). Do we even understand how much we have been forgiven or do we instead only think about how much or how often we have been wronged? Henri Nouwen writes, "Forgiveness is the name of love practiced among people who love poorly. The hard truth is that all people love poorly. We need to forgive and be forgiven every day, every hour increasingly. That is the great work of love among the fellowship of the weak that is the human family." 1
Before we can ever come close to understanding the radical notion of grace, let alone the spiritual power of the Grace abundantly and freely offered to each one of us through The Lord, perhaps we must first confront the matrix of our own lives when we’ve been in a position to extend grace or forgive someone. If this was “easy” we would probably never fully appreciate its considerable power and worth within the human heart.
Like air and water, forgiveness is both precious and necessary to life. If someone is genuinely, deeply sorry and has truly understood the pain and injury they have caused, how many times should they be forgiven? (Matthews) If we only forgive begrudgingly, or because we see it as a commandment there is little if anything to be gained or healed by forgiveness. Until we ourselves have longed for or asked for and received forgiveness ourselves, perhaps we will never trust that forgiveness is a good thing in reality as opposed to in theory.
Professor Richard Swanson articulates2 the conflicting impulses provoked in many of us by this exchange between Peter and Jesus in the Matthew’s Gospel today:
(my partial paraphrase): if Peter is asking Jesus if we are religiously obliged to let people walk all over us, and if Jesus’ answer provokes anyone to absorb abuse only to “forgive, and forgive, and meekly forgive, then Jesus gives a bad answer.” As a professor and as a pastor [Swanson notes that he has] heard stories of abuse from [his] students and parishioners and declares that [he] has not, does not, and will not EVER suggest that Jesus is telling anyone to merely accept abuse…”
Forgiveness has been known to set one free from the toxicity of holding onto the anger and rage abuse unleashes upon the one abused, but Swanson rightly cautions, “there is a difference between that and forgiveness which perpetuates abuse.” Indeed, we are all painfully aware of the considerable harm and injury inflicted by priests, clergy and other predators who have manipulated Jesus’ words here in Matthew 18 (or elsewhere in the Bible or “church doctrine”) in order to perpetuate abuse.
So, given the fine line between healthy forgiveness and the perpetuation of evil or abuse, what does forgiveness need to look like in the life of the church and in our own lives?
The answer, of course, depends upon the situation and the harm that was done. There is no easy answer or one-size-fits-all application. When it comes to such weighty matters perhaps it is useful to recall Jesus’ words in a different context, that we must be “as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16). Perhaps it ultimately depends on how long we are willing to carry the burden of withholding forgiveness. Withholding forgiveness trap us in the past and destroy the possibility of any future joy. I recall a Zen or Buddhist proverb which compares the withholding of forgiveness to carrying hot coals in one’s hands.
The challenge of forgiveness is that it disrupts a delicate balance. Timing is critical. Sometimes the time isn’t appropriate or healthy to forgive … yet. Yes, forgiveness gets abused and manipulated. But what anyone does with our forgiveness is beyond our control. It is out of our hands once we extend it. Jesus challenges us to trust in the potential for forgiveness to nurture the health and well-being not only of the wider community, or the one who is forgiven, but above all the heart and soul and spirit of the one who forgives.
Preacher Tom Long puts it this way: "We know too well that the little boat in which we are sailing is floating on a deep sea of grace and that forgiveness is not to be dispensed with an eyedropper, but a fire hose" (Matthew, Westminster Bible Companion).1 With that clever image in mind, perhaps it comes down to this:
Do we want to live in a world, in a nation, in a church community where people dispense forgiveness with "an eyedropper," or with "a fire hose"?
NOTES
1 I acknowledge my use of Kathryn Matthews’ on-line commentary, including the two quotes by Tom Long, and especially her organization of material and ideas:: https://www.ucc.org/worship_samuel_sermon_seeds_september_13_2020
2 Richard Swanson, blog, https://provokingthegospel.wordpress.com/2017/09/11/a-provocation-fifteenth-sunday-after-pentecost-september-17-2017-matthew-1821-35/
