Thomas J Parlette
“R.S.V.P. to the Party”
Matthew 22: 1-14
10/11/26
It started out as such a simple thing – a birthday party for a 5 year old girl. A mother in Texas, named Lex Fitzgerald organized a party for her birthday for her daughter Willa at a nearby burger restaurant. They made invitations and gave them to all her classmates at school. They decorated a corner of the restaurant with banners and balloons and put out treats and games for all the kids.
The hour of the party arrived, and no one showed up. Five minutes went by – then ten – then fifteen. At twenty minutes past the hour, and still no guests, a distraught Lex got on her phone. She signed in to a local mom’s Facebook group and put out an emergency call – “Anyone available to celebrate my daughter’s 5th birthday, like right now!” and she included a picture of a lonely little girl sitting at a decorated table all by herself.
“We had invited her whole class. I know people are busy, but only 30% rsvp’ed – and then they didn’t show, said Lex. “I didn’t know what else to do. I was hoping I might get one or two families to stop by and celebrate us. But then something beautiful happened.”
To her Lex’s surprise and relief, within minutes, people started showing up, with gifts in hand, asking for Willa. Lex took another picture – instead of a lonely little girl sitting all by herself, this picture showed a back room full of people celebrating with Willa.
Lex shared, “We went from a single person at her birthday table to not a single table open. The entire restaurant was packed with families who refused to let my daughter celebrate alone.”
In response to the post, one person wrote, “This is the reason we always try to go to any kid’s parties we are invited to! I would feel so bad for them not to have anyone at their party! I’m glad you were able to get people there.” (1)
That sounds remarkably similar to what happens in this morning’s rather mysterious and sometimes disturbing parable.
This parable of a Wedding Feast is the third of a series of parables that Jesus tells in the Temple at Jerusalem. Telling these stories in the Temple is an interesting, direct and bold choice for Jesus. He is taking the religious establishment to task right there in their own turf. We have already heard the story of the Two Sons – one went into the vineyard to work and the other said he would, but did not. Jesus also told the one about the Wicked Tenants who kill the vineyard owner’s son and think the vineyard belongs to them – and the vineyard owners wipes them all out and destroys the vineyard. And now we’ve got the third story in the cycle – the Parable of the Wedding Feast, that compares God’s kingdom to a wedding banquet.
This metaphor of a feast is pretty common in Biblical literature – both the Old Testament and the New Testament. We can hear echoes of the Isaiah passage we read this morning in this text – “The Lord will make a feast of rich food and well-aged wines” for the people. And of course, Jesus is often depicted having a meal with his disciples – including the Last Supper just before his death.
Both Luke and Matthew tell this story – but Luke’s version is a good bit softer than Matthew’s. In Luke’s telling, people go to the trouble of offering excuses as to why they can’t attend, whereas, in Matthew, they just don’t bother to show up. Luke has Jesus tell this parable at a Pharisee’s house, taking the Temple and it’s charged environment out of play. Matthew has Jesus tell the parable right there in the Temple, to underscore the point that this story is about the religious establishment. At the end of Luke’s version, the emphasis is on the inclusion of “the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame” at the feast, while in Matthew, the ending is much darker, with the King going on a murderous rampage in response to people not showing up to the feast. Same general story – but told much differently.
One of the most puzzling aspects of this parable is the part about the guest who shows up to the feast, but he isn’t wearing the appropriate wedding garments. The King seems to react very harshly, ordering that the guest be “bound hand and foot and thrown out into the outer darkness.” Seems like a bit of an over-reaction – he did show up after all, that’s more than most others did – why does it matter what he was wearing?
Apparently, there is a distinction between being INVITED to the party and being READY for the party. It’s one thing to send you RSVP – it’s another thing to arrive at the feast with the right attitude.
John Calvin once wrote about this passage by referring to two verses from Paul. In Romans 13:14, we read that we must “put on the Lord Jesus Christ,” and in Galatians 3:27, we read that because we are baptized into Christ, we are “clothed” with Christ. Hence, the wedding guest who is hog-tied and dumped outside receives this judgment because he has refused to be clothed in Christ. (2) He has RSVP’ed to the party – he has shown up – but he is not clothed in Christ. He has not come to the party with the right attitude of thankfulness, gratitude and joy.
Fellow Presbyterian Pastor, Ted Wardlaw, tells a story about a church he once served that had a pre-school that rented some space during the week. Every day, when recess was over and it was time to go back inside, the teacher would line up her class right under the Pastor’s study, and give a lecture about how to behave in church.
“Boys and girls, I know you have heard me say this many times, but you cannot be reminded often enough about how to behave in God’s house. When you go inside these doors, there is to be no talking, no laughing, no giggling, no playing, no running, no tickling, no chasing each other, no breaking line, no slapping, no fighting, no touching…” Every conceivable behavior you could think of – she had it on the list. All the things you could not do in God’s house. Every day I listened to her list, I got more and more depressed – what could you do in God’s house?
One day, I happened to walk out of the office into the hallway. One of the preschoolers was there at the drinking fountain, and at the sight of me she gasped, shrank away and blurted out – “I’m sorry!” and ran away. (3)
She was learning that the realm of God was serious business where punishment waits around every corner if you get caught taking a sip of water or laughing, or talking or giggling.
It would be easy to read this parable and come away with the idea that God is very touchy about appropriate behavior and is happy to tie you up and throw you into the outer darkness – after all, there is a lot of judgement and punishment going on here.
But ultimately, God wants us at the party – God wants us at the banquet, but God wants us to come with the right spirit. A spirit of thankfulness. A spirit of Gratitude. A spirit of Mercy. A Spirit of Grace. And a spirit of Joy.
Elie Wiesel once wrote that the celebration of life was more important than anything – including mourning for the dead. He wrote, “When a wedding procession encounters a funeral procession in the street, the mourners must halt so as to allow the wedding party to proceed. Surely you know what respect we show our dead, but a wedding – symbol of life and renewal, symbol of promise, too – takes precedent.” (4)
When you RSVP to a party or a wedding, you officially accept the invitation, you acknowledge your willingness to be ready, to be prepared for the festivities – proper clothes, a proper gift, and a proper attitude. With your RSVP, you commit yourself to an attitude of thankfulness, gratitude, mercy, grace and joy.
So come to the party!
God is saving you a seat. Amen.
1. Carina Stathis, “The heartbreaking moment nobody turns up to little girl’s 5th birthday party – leaving mom distraught: She’s been so excited to celebrate,” Daily Mail, June 22, 2023.
2. Andrew Purves, Feasting on the Word, Year A, Vol. 4, Westminster John Knox Press, 2011, p168.
3. Theodore J Wardlaw, Connections: Year A, Vol. 3, Westminster John Knox Press, 2020, p 387.
4. Ibid… p 387- 388.
