Thomas J Parlette
“The Better Way”
Luke 10: 38-42
7/17/22
If you’ve ever hosted an event at your house – a Super Bowl party, a holiday meal, a graduation party, a book club meeting – you know there are a hundred little details that need to be taken care of before the guests arrive. And one or two details could make all the difference between a great event and a party hosting nightmare. So it takes a certain spiritual gift and an inner fortitude to be a good host. Not everyone is cut out for the job.
A woman once wrote to a humor website to share the story of visiting her son at his first ever apartment. When she and her husband walked in, her son asked if they would like a cold drink. The mother was so proud of her son for being a gracious host. She said, “Yes, what do you have?”
Her son opened the refrigerator door, stared inside for a couple of seconds and then said, “I have pickle juice or water.” (1) Nice. I assume they had water.
A journalist with Bon Appetit magazine once asked readers to submit examples of their worst dinner part experiences. One woman wrote in that some candles on her patio table once fell over and set the whole table on fire. Another person wrote in about the time that he had 50 people coming over for brunch when the city utility department cut off his water. Another woman shared about the time she tried out a new chicken recipe that was so bad, she threw the whole thing away and ordered pizza instead.(2) It’s not easy to host a group of any size, that’s for sure.
Whenever I read this passage from Luke, I wonder how Martha had the energy and skill to host a large group of people on such short notice. Apparently she had almost no advance warning that Jesus, with at least his twelve disciples and probably some more followers that go unnamed in the story, stop by, seemingly out of the blue. But Martha opens her home to them and rushes around making preparations. As she is breathlessly seeing to all the details that you need to think about, she noticed that Mary – her sister – wasn’t doing anything to help. She was just sitting at Jesus feet listening to him teach and tell stories.
But Martha was distracted by her many tasks. The Greek word used here for “distracted” literally means “to drag all around.” I think we all know what that feels like. You get home from work, and you are still dragging around the events of the day. We drag around others demands on our time and energy. We drag around other’s expectations and standards for us. The burden can get heavy. But you are dragging around other people’s priorities. It’s stressful – we can understand why Martha was stressed out and distracted.
Author Anne Lamott has a great definition of “Fear” that fits this story for today. She says that “Fear” – F. E. A. R. – stands for “Future Event Already Ruined.” Isn’t that what kinda happens when we get worried and distracted and weighed down by other’s expectations and demands? That’s exactly what Martha was experiencing in our story today – future event already ruined. Here was Jesus himself, sitting in her home, and the visit was being ruined by her fear and stress.
So, our first takeaway from this passage is to realize that in this life, our time is limited, but our demands are endless. Most of us live in a permanent state of distraction and anxiety because we have a limited amount of time and energy to deal with an unlimited number of options. And this was not God’s design for human beings. That is why God established the Sabbath right at the beginning of Creation.
Sabbath – rest is essential for health and peace and restoration. Rest is essential for joy. At some point, if we want to live the life God made and intended for us, we have to lay down our burdens and distractions and take up the rest that God offers.
Author Bronnie Ware once wrote a book called, The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying, based on her years of work in palliative care, and the book’s message is vitally important for those of us who are dragged down by the demands on our lives. She wrote that in all her years of working with persons who were dying, she discovered the five most common regrets were:
1. I wish I had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish I had let myself be happier. (3)
In this life, our time is limited, but our demands are endless. How do we keep from getting distracted and dragged down by the constant demands on our time? And what would it look like to live the life God intends for us?
Which brings us to a second insight from this story. Jesus shows us here how to live with no regrets. In verse 38, it says “Now as they went on their way…” Jesus and his disciples were on their way – on their way where? They are on their way to Jerusalem at this point to celebrate Passover. Only Jesus knows that he is on his way to arrest, torture and crucifixion.
If anyone had the right to be distracted and anxious about many things, it was Jesus in this story. And yet, he wasn’t. He was at peace. His life had a singular focus – sharing the truth and love of God through teaching, preaching and healing. His priorities were clear. His focus was unwavering. His mind was at peace. And Jesus wants that same peace for all of us.
For more than a decade, British journalist Oliver Burkeman wrote an advice column for The Guardian newspaper. In his final column, he shared some of the lessons he’d learned over the years on the secret to living a happy life.
Here is part of what he wrote – “There will always be too much to do – and this realization is liberating. Today, more than ever, there’s just no reason to assume any fit between the demands on your time – all the things you would like to do, or feel you ought to do – and the amount of time available… The only viable solution is to make a shift: from a life spent trying not to neglect anything, to one spent proactively and consciously choosing what to neglect, in favor or what matters most. (4)
I think Jesus would agree. We need to proactively and consciously choose what to neglect in favor of what matters most. We simply can’t do it all. We simply can’t have it all. In fact, no matter how hard we try, the “all” we work towards can’t be achieved by our own efforts. The “all” we so desperately need for peace and fulfillment and happiness can only be found in knowing God. Jesus knew that, and he focused his time and energy accordingly. Mary seems to understand that as well, so she chose to neglect her hosting duties in favor of the better way – enjoying her time with Jesus.
In a Scandinavian country there is a statue of Jesus. A tourist standing in front of it appeared dismayed. A local resident asked what was wrong.
“I can’t see his face.”
And the resident said, “If you want to see Jesus’ face, you must kneel at his feet.”(5)
If we want to see the face of Jesus, we must kneel at his feet. We can’t get to know him if we’re rushing around chasing our own agenda. It’s time to put aside everything that doesn’t really matter and put time into what matters most. That’s what Jesus is getting at when he says, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed – or really, just one. You see Mary – she has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken from her.”
Historian James Truslow Adams tells a time-honored story he heard from a friend who had spent a few years living with indigenous people in the upper Amazon. A group of Amazonian men had been traveling through the forest for two days, making great progress in their journey. But on the third day, they stopped and rested. There seemed to be no reason for their stop. No one was injured. They weren’t suffering from exhaustion or anything. The American asked the group leader why they had stopped.
The leader replied, “They are waiting. They cannot move farther until their souls have caught up with their bodies.” (6)
When Martha brought her stress and complaints to Jesus, he heard her deepest need. You could say that Jesus wanted Martha’s soul to catch up to her body. So he encouraged her to follow Mary’s example and put the work aside for a bit – rest, spend time with me instead. Jesus was saying to her – and by extension us, “Put aside your temporary burdens and choose the better way – my eternal way. It’s the only thing that can never be taken from you.”
In 1938, a Jesuit priest named Pedro Arrupe moved to Japan to serve as a missionary there. After the bombing of Hiroshima in 1945, Arrupe led one of the first rescue groups into the area. He and his colleagues risked their own lives to find survivors and get them medical care. He was also influential in getting the Jesuit order to focus their ministries on those living in poverty. (7)
Friar Arrupe wrote a wonderful poem about what it means to live with one purpose and one focus. He could have written it with Jesus, Martha and Mary in mind. He wrote:
“Nothing is more practical than
finding God, than
falling in love
in a quite absolute, final way.
What you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination,
will affect everything.
It will decide
what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you do with your evenings,
how you spend your weekends,
what you read,
whom you know,
what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.
Fall in love,
stay in love,
and it will decide everything. (8)
Stress comes from the sense that someone always needs something from you. Peace comes from the realization that you need something from God. The one thing we need, the only thing that can never be taken away from us, is our love for Jesus Christ. And this love will change everything about our lives. It will decide what gets us out of bed in the morning. It will decide what breaks our hearts. And it will decide what amazes us with joy and gratitude. And that love comes from spending time at Jesus’ feet.
So, lay aside your agenda and your distractions and spend time praying and meditating and worshiping Jesus every day. Choose the better way – fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.
May God be praised. Amen.
1. Dynamic Preaching, Vol. XXXVIII, No. 2, p55.
2. Ibid… p55.
3. Ibid… p55-56.
4. Ibid… p56.
5. Ibid… p56.
6. Ibid… p57.
7. Ibid… p57.
8. Ibid… p57.
